It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
