He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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