tell your sister to shave her snatch
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
