sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
