i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
you will always have a special place in my vag
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
