a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
