So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
