Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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