How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
