Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize