WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
