I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
