The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
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