Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She's the barista slut.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
