Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
