this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Randomize
