THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
