Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
