i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
foreskin is a definite game changer
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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