Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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