hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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