This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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