You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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