oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
