I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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