Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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