She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize