There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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