can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize