I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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