i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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