This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
