Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
