I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
