He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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