I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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