I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
