like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
