My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
