Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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