what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
