o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
