playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
