i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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