Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
