ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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