She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I had to cum in my sink.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize