fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
