have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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