we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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