No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
