dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
tell me about the eggs
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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