Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
