He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
