i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
