glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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