I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
