How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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