Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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