Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
