Walk of Shame. In a state park.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
