she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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