youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize