I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
