Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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