Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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